


Quilting the Soul- Patching the Tears

by Gelasia_Kidd



Category: Patching the Soul
Genre: Aaron learns not to be a creeper, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, Guilt, Healer Grillby, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Instability, Mistakes Are Made, Music, Named OC - Freeform, Napstablook is the best friend ever, Past Abuse, Protective Grillby, Sans Has Issues, Sans Needs A Hug, Self-Insert, Soul healing, Suicidal Thoughts, Theraputic Self Indulgence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:38:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelasia_Kidd/pseuds/Gelasia_Kidd
Summary: Isolation can drive you mad, especially when the last true social interaction you had been given in years came from abuse and emotional trauma.What I thought would be a regular game quickly evolved into something bigger, something greater. That characters could become the greatest friends you have ever known..I couldn't reset, I didn't want to take away their "happy endings".But my mind wouldn't let it go, wouldn't let them go.Maybe it doesn't have to be the end..





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty true to form. The reader is named after me, responds like me, has my history, and well yea. If you were expecting a nice reader fic you could stick yourself into, this isn't it. I'm sorry. 
> 
> This however was written months before I found that the Undertale fandom had a fanfiction community, and I hadn't even found Ao3 at the time so, named OC it is.
> 
> Regardless, I guess this is where so many of us get each other, huh? That we can find that emotional comfort...
> 
> It's dark, it speaks of bitter things, but it's a therapeutic work.
> 
> Thank you.

I loved Undertale. I had a great heart for the characters, and never wanted to let them go. I felt like Sans would have been a great friend, as we crack puns back and forth. I wanted Toriel to be my mother figure. I wanted .. Papyrus would have been a great older brother, I think, the cheesy one that always made you smile but you sort of had to protect too.

 

I felt a lot about a lot of them. I cried as I left Asriel behind. I wanted to go back- I wanted to reset and be with them again. But Flowey was right. I couldn't take away their happy ending. I never could make myself reset. I was curious, yes. Even about genocide- I mean I wanted to know everything, to connect further.

 

But I always stopped right at the button. I listened to the music. I read about it. I watched heartbreaking and hope giving videos. But I wasn't going to get to see them ever again.

 

Until I was.

 

A vague awareness came over me. The wind was whipping at me as a dizzy movement rocked through my body. There was a light outside my eyes, but it was growing dimmer and dimmer. I caught glances of purple tinted dark grey slate, and above me, the sun shining down the cave was closing to a pinprick- because I was falling further away from it, every second.

 

I hit something, numbly aware of it, and my vision grew dark again.

 

I woke up in a bed of flowers, an odd mix of Frisk and myself. I was 16 again, with my bob. My glasses were cracked, so I hung them on my shirt, because I wasn't going to lose them, just in case. I couldn't wear them, but if I needed to I could hold them up to my face.

 

I squinted out at the dark, the little rays lighting the flowers around me. I felt like I was somewhere familiar, but couldn't place quite where. I wasn't the sort to lie to myself, but I had lucid dreams of wandering tunnels for years. I wasn't dreaming, I don't think. Everything wasn't padded.

 

I touched my suddenly different haircut and looked at myself. The last time I remembered wearing this outfit was at Ohayocon when I was much younger, before my artist "sempai" left me. It was Juunanagou, Android 17 crossplay. My grandma had sewn my bandana for me, and it was my first cosplay ever, at my first convention.

 

Even more eerie, I still had my fanny pack from the convention. It had my pass clipped to it, and as I opened it I realized there were some charms and a smushed box of pocky I think I had purchased there, half empty.

 

Squinting didn't help all that much, and a flash of yellow startled me into my hazel eyes flaring in that direction.

 

"Hiya! You must be new here! My name is Flowey!" the cheerful yellow blob said.

 

"Uhhh..." I said, blinking bewildered. I pinched myself, and it HURT. Nope.. not a dream. I held the single not cracked lense of my glasses up to my eyes. Yep. Anthropomorphic flower. The closest thing I could say it was like was maybe like the annoying orange cartoon show thing I avoided so desperately, except with wide black rabbit eyes, and a toothless grin. At least it seemed seamless to the flower without the false human skin.

 

"Um.." I stood up, and took a few steps away, back facing Flowey as I saw the dark hole of the cavern.

 

"What! I haven't gotten to tell you how this place works!" My lips twitched amused, and I turned around, crouching a little.

 

I didn't know if this was a dream or not. I felt scared and anxious, but excited and happy. It was a bundle of feelings I couldn't exactly place. My balance wasn't great, though, and I plopped over.

 

I brushed my fingers over Flowey. He was so tiny and soft, and my heart panged for the soulless Asriel.

 

"What are you doing?" I looked down to a glare, a dreadful glare from a flower. My hand with my glasses had fallen with me, and I put them on my shirt again, under the bandana this time.

 

I shrugged, and sighed. Frisk didn't really talk, and Chara only had hurtful words. But I had a voice, even though I didn't know words to say.

 

"I don't know. I'm not a hero, I don't even know how to be a person some days," I told Flowey.

 

"Well buddy, how about I teach you about how people are down here!" Flowey said. Little bits of white dots floated around me, and my soul came out.

 

My soul was a dreadfully sad thing, I realized. It was battered, with little fractures. Bits and bobs seemed to be missing. And across it all was a faint impression of a bandage that blurred the inside. It said 'hope' on the impression, but it was starting to peel.

 

The world faded around me as I looked at the cracks, the memories filling my vision instead.

 

_ "no one likes you" _

_ "didn't you know? you are worthless" _

_ "oh sweetie, you don’t need to go to college. you couldn’t handle it. just stay here." _

**_"you'll do it if you love me"_ **

 

I came back as a single pellet barely nicked my cheek. Flowey seemed paler yellow, somehow. Being inches away from him made the frown on his face very obvious.

The battle ended, and my soul went back. I would have made a "you look like you'd seen a ghost" joke to lighten the humor, but ghosts were a real thing here and it seemed wrong. But with no words, the horrified silence of Flowey persisted.

 

"What happened to you?" Flowey said, sounding very young, like the Asriel he should have been.

 

A gave him a smile. A painful, tiny, broken thing. "Azzy, is it okay if I don't want to go home?"

 

He seemed to wilt slightly, and I sort of did too. I found myself curled into the blossoms, tired.

He watched me, as I pet the soft petals of the regular flowers. "Idiot, I could kill you."

 

My head in memories, I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears. One slipped down my cheek and onto the flower below my head.

"That's okay too," I said.

 

A leaf plopped against my head.

 

"It's no fun to kill someone like this," Flowey grumbled. "Aren't you supposed to have DETERMINATION?"

 

But I drifted to sleep regardless, the sweet scent of the buttercups around me.

  
This was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> http://dokidoki-undertale.tumblr.com/post/151129246141/undertale-commissions
> 
> Plugging this because I need food and things. Semi-shameless I suppose. ;w;
> 
> Hope you liked the chapter.
> 
> Feel free to talk to me, too!
> 
> I'm more likely to respond on tumblr than dA


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